Tokio Hotel in Serbian hearts

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 FOR YOU....

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BiLLs_Schwester_4EWER
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PostSubject: FOR YOU....   Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:15 pm

FOR YOU…

....Life sometimes make us happy,sometimes it hurts like a knife.Well,anyway,it’s a long story.Story of my life,my dreams,my wishes,my fight and about myself.Story about a young girl and about her love for band Tokio Hotel.About the love,even stronger than dead….Soon,maybe,that will be the moment of her life!Now begins the story about the love,hate,tears,hope,faith,fight and friendship,
…I believe in angels.I think that everybody’s someone’s angel.
My name is Marina.I’m 18 years old.Just another ordinary teenage girl on this world.For some people strange,weird….Dreamer with head in the clouds and filled with imagination.I have my own extraordinary world.World on my own.If I can say that,I have a nice life,maybe I still have him,but something’s changed.Completely!And from that moment,nothing will be the same again.Never again.I never dreamed that this will happen to me,and make me different from the others.Different from other fans,even from the other people.’Cause,we are all different in some ways!So am I.I live and I lived in the clouds,always dreaming and full of hope!That’s gives me strength to keep holding on.
I had a perfect life,and I still have,I think.I had a past full of secrets,or I can say,I had one part in my past which is so sad.I don’t like remembered,because I felt angry,pain,sadness and I could cry endlessly…From that day,everything’s changed. When I discovered that I’m addopted child,that’s crushed my world down.I felt myself like a bastard.My mother left me,she didn’t wanted me and someone else took care about me.But,that secret I didn’t heard from my parent’s mouth.My jealous friend told me that.I was so sad,angry,hurt…I didn’t stopped crying.It’s made me insane!My parents were shocked.But,I understand.Thanks them,I’m alive and I have love,care,support and really better life!Even sometimes my past reminds me of that painful memory…I’m strong enough and I can survive that!And I can,because I have them,Tokio Hotel.Living proof of what music and one band can do.Change our lifes completely and show us better way from our happiness.All that I found in Tokio Hotel!They are the band of my heart.Miracle!I will keep holding on…..And-I MUST!!!!!Because of them!
….I love my parents.Really!And I can speak with them,like my parents,and my friends.But,sometimes in my life I feel and I wish that I could ask them more about my real mother,more about herself,who is she,how old is she,where she live now,have she a child,or a children,is she happy,did she ask herself or God how am I,am I happy or sad,did she ever asked herself am I alright or she think about me sometimes,maybe never…..That hurt like hell.That pain,sadness,fear,suffer…..That damned past.When I discovered the truth about myself,I can’t describe or tell how I was felt that moment,that day…..I felt the shame,horrible shame for myself,but I must survived that.Sometimes I wish that I am dead,but in that moment I remember that I must fight,I have really strong and good reason for living,many of them.Tokio Hotel is my BIGGEST REASON FOR STAYING ALIVE!Without them,I ‘m not live.After them,there is nothing anymore…..Love is dead.I know.But I love them more than my life.I don’t like anyone like them.My life first.’Cause my REAL LIFE is TOKIO HOTEL!!!!!!!!For a couple of days,everything is fine,but then I feel the same…..Time passing by me,days passing,and the new one comes.I must stay strong,but I feel weakness and sometimes I think that I can’t go on…..Then I think about Tokio Hotel,and my life give a new,deeper sence.But,nobody can understand me.Not even my parents.Not,if we talking about Tokio Hotel.I know on which pearsons I can always count.And,I am so happy because of that.Someday,if I ever see my real mother,and if she don’t want to talk to me,or see me,I will come to her,look her right in the eyes and watch her for a few minutes.And I just…..I don’t want anything else,’cause one of my biggest wishes ever were that I ask her 3.things!Why she left me,did she ever loved me and does she loves me yet!That’s all I want.I know that, that can be painful,so damn painful,but I must be ready!Ready for things like that.And if that can’t take her back,if that is just not good enough,if she was never loved me,never was,I will understand.Understand the thing that I was unloved little child,without mother’s love and left all on my own…..Anyway,she didn’t aborted.She gave world one child,me.Even if she didn’t loved me.But I’am alive.And I’m thankful for that.In the end,I will thank her and tell these words:”Mother,thank you.You didn’t love me,but you gave me life anyway.I know that you were young,helpless girl,women,without anything.Your life was like living hell,I know.War is the biggest reason!But,I just wanna thank you for life,even if you left me!’Cause,I found the reason of my life,sence of my life,my dream,hope and faith.My everything…..I wish you all the best from everything in your life,you and your family,too.I wish you that from the bottom of my heart and my soul.I don’t hate you,mother.And I never will.Never!.....”
…..I have my happiness.I have people who I love,I have love,faith and hope.
I have great life.Thank dear God.And I have him,too.God loves me anyway,I know that.He gave me Bill,Tokio Hotel,Fans…..I’am so happy now.Very happy.I admit,my wounds are still fresh….AND FOREVER WILL BE!I crying sometimes,when I’m alone,when no one can look at me,in the darkness.But,MY LOVE WILL BE STRONGER WITH EVERY NEW DAY,HOUR,MINUTE,BREATH,HEARTBEAT…..FOR ETERNAL!God has send me an angel.And I think that that pearson truly is an angel.Even if he is not,I believe that he is.’Cause in my eyes,he is…..I believe my heart.
I don’t know where is my mother,I don’t know anything about her,but I will found her one day.I know that and I believe.Even if that feeling making me insane,I’ll find her!If I lose myself then,I’ll think about him,Bill.Nothing can hold me back from my angel.Nothing and nobody!And if it’s all over unfortunately for me,I won’t give up.My heart will be broken,but I’ll mend him.
Music of my favourite band will help me and than everything will be fine.
…..With every breath I take,I’ll love Bill more,forever and ever,on this world and on another.No matter of what can be that moment.I just know that my love for him will live,even when I die!I’m blessed with that love.I’m blessed because I LOVE BILL!!!!!When he sing,I see the Heaven….And nothing else matters anymore.And when all faith and hope has gone,for me never will.
In Bill’s eyes,I see the hope.That hope,faith,love and pride.Pride of my life…..He,his band,their music and their fans is all what I need to be completely happy girl.That’s all…..
And….I still love you mom,no matter of your reasons.I met people who gaves me a better life,all I ever wanted,and the most important,they gave me all their love.Until the their last breaths,I know that they will love me unlike any others.Maybe the same way like you,if you could did that…..But,they are now my parents and they have a special place in my heart,even if they don’t understand some things ‘bout me,my life and about them,my favourite band ever and for all the times,Tokio Hotel.It hurts,but I will fight to prove them that they worth and that they are special teenage band,NOT LIKE THE OTHERS.I really hope that someone who read this after me,someone who believe me,will understand me and my love in every way.This is not obsession,possession,crazy years….This is something more,more than that.More than love,life,living…..More than me…..And if I ever go on their concert,I can die that moment,but I know,in my soul and heart,that I will die calm and happy.That is the most important moment in my life,that day,wonderful day…And,I still live for that day…..
Time and moment of my life.


“…You raise me up,
So I can stand on mountains,
You raise me up
To walk on stormy seas.
I’am strong when I’am on you shoulders
You raise me up
To more than I can be….”
[i]
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Billowa Micaa:)
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PostSubject: Re: FOR YOU....   Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:28 pm

Ovo do sada nismo imali...Najezila sam se dok sam citala,ovo je iako je veoma tuzno,stvaro prelepo...Sve ovo sto si napisala,pretpostavljam da je tacno....Zar ne?
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PostSubject: Re: FOR YOU....   Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:50 pm

Funtastic. Stvarno super.=)
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little.girl.crazy.in.love
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PostSubject: Re: FOR YOU....   Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:00 pm

PRELEPO...nemam shta vishe da kazem...ostala sam bez teksta... silent
Tuzno je...jel` ovo istina???
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LadyLillis
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PostSubject: Re: FOR YOU....   Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:01 pm

:Wg:

wow...
beautiful!!!

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xXx~MakyundBill~xXx
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PostSubject: Re: FOR YOU....   Sun Oct 05, 2008 1:36 am

Plakala sam dok sam citala...predivno je.... Sad

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